Feeling overwhelmed with the world around you?
Having a tough time making decisions?
Experiencing an overall feeling of anxiety or the blues?
I am hearing a huge uptick of these laments in my conversations that I am having with my clients and in my community at large. And the challenge of being enmeshed in personal development is that my life and my work are so intertwined- sometimes I feel like I am not sure if I am awake or dreaming!
When I am feeling an extra-shot of stress and indecision, I know that means I have to slow it down in a big way.
My process to reboot usually means either lying down and listening to the release meditation technique audio (I like this one a lot, the meditation starts at about 11 minutes. Release Meditation Technique — Instruction by Founder Brendon Burchard) or getting outside for a brisk walk or a ride on my one-speed around the neighborhood.
Taking these reset breaks allows me to get a new perspective on what is making me feel so stressed and seeing the challenges as lessons rather than complete roadblocks. I can then make way more rational decisions from a place of calm vs. angst.
And the truth is that the right path- the right decision- is often just on the other side of our temporary moments of blinding confusion.
Below are four steps you can apply to make decisions in your life with greater confidence.
As a result, you will find a deeper sense of personal power and peace. And I don’t know about you, but I think we could all use a dose of that right now.
1. Expect some doubt and regret as a possible outcome to any decision you make. These are natural human emotions. Let them inform you, not nail you to your current predicament. You are not a tree. You can pick up and change at any time. It is our own right to change our mind. Judge yourself less. You are human and you are growing — celebrate all aspects of your process of discernment with humor and grace. This process of acceptance is one of the greatest gifts of being human.
2. When weighing out a decision, imagine the downside of each possibility. What this does is minimize the negative experience if (and perhaps when) things don’t work out as planned. Information is power, both mentally and emotionally. If you are willing to face ALL that is possible in your life, you are less likely to freeze in indecision and fear when meeting obstacles on your new path. Moving confidently towards your new way of being is easier the more informed and aware you are. Good for you for committing to the best version of you.
3. Remain flexible. Expand your horizons to account for all possibilities when moving forward with a life change. For example, you set a goal to lose ten pounds before your high school reunion. It is important to take into consideration not only the variables, such as your changes in diet and exercise, but also the emotional changes you will experience as you move through your transformation.
As a coach, where most people fall down is when they are pulled to old habits (late night binging, blowing off the gym, dating another jerk, buying another pair of shoes, not following up on sales leads), and they revert to bargaining and justifying their backward slide. This is the time where a coach or an accountability partner is key. Flexibility is understanding that there will be resistance, that you will be pulled back to old behaviors; however, you understand and accept that course-correcting is always an option at any given moment. Define yourself not by your failures, but by your ability to fall and get back up again, without a loss of enthusiasm. You got this.
4. Be prepared for resistance. People will judge you, undermine you, and expect you to fail when you decide to make a bold change in your life. And the most shocking part of this? The people who supposedly love you the most are often the least likely to be the ones cheering you on. People will resist your change, no matter what your resolve.
Your best defense? Be prepared for the resistance by planning your statement of intent. Declare your decision with confidence and resolve. If you are clear on why you are making these changes and knowing that it serves your highest best self, you will be less swayed by someone’s temper tantrum or even your own self-sabotage. It’s your time to live your best life. You can attain this by staying true to your best version of YOU.
By embracing the pros and cons of your decision, your ability to stay committed will be increased, despite both internal and external resistance. Expect and embrace it by preparing your approach and remember to stay open to all the wonder and humor that life offers us, even through stressful times.
The world needs what you bring!